dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
