I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
