gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
