Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
