i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
