I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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