I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
