your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
