when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
