I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
