spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
