I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
