# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize