Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I touched a dick in church today
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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