Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
