White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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