Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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