walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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