Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
