His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
