Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
