oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
