everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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