I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So apparently I’m into choking now
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