im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The Olympian is in my bed
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
