sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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