i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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