But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize