You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
