the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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