I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize