Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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