I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
