A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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