why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize