And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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