it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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