Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
