As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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