I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
