I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
