Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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