At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
