he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I would fuck him just for his dog
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
