Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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