party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Terrible idea I love it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
