How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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