I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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