it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
