Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry OddlLyEnouGh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.

Fav 75 1278 15828
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?

Fav 31 1103 2549
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.

Fav 22 4391 1249
share tweet
(310): View more from California

can your parents tell?

(310): View more from California

i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know

Fav 26 10066 1975
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

Fav 4 2019 819
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.

Fav 10 2197 786
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?

Fav 10 1843 1095
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance

Fav 2 336 106
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.

Fav 0 66 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT