I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
