Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
