she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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