I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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