yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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