Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
