I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
