I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
