So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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