If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
