The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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