Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
