Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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