3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
