isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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