maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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